When God was Just a Man

This is actually a song that I wrote almost two years ago, but I find it works well for a poem. It also describes part of what was so difficult about going to church with my mom today. 

April 2, 2015

God

When God was just a man, and I was just a girl

I didn’t have to think about the universe

When Mom was just a name that I called when I needed

It didn’t seem to matter that she needed to be more

Than a person who organized and criticized, 

but never realized

I needed to be deeply loved 

and carefully nurtured

But I don’t’ blame her or the church that taught me 

all about a Father, but not my Mother

In heaven, and the plan of salvation 

that they thought could be enough

For a girl . . . but it’s not, 

and I am learning a lot

I am more than a plan 

that can be drawn as a diagram

I am more than my earthly mother 

and father and the church where I learned

When God became much bigger than a man 

and I was forced to see the girl

Who was stuck in me, 

who needed a Mother

The sun became the light to my heart, 

it was a start

Now I can see that there’s not a way to contain it

or save it, but only give it

And receive it to be it in the world, 

a world so small in the universe

Of mothers and fathers 

and children who need to be loved 

in the universe

                         Just in case you want to hear the song version . . . 

link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd6a2_BAYEc