Dead Awake

30 January 2017

Dead Awake

I feel dead

Either way

Pills to wake

Pills to sleep

Pills to calm

Pills to fake

Happiness

Manic thought

Has settled

Darkness

Returns

From the

Depths

Again

Again

Again

I might as well be

DEAD

Dead

If

Dead

Awake is

No longer

Available

What about

Alive?

I have forgotten

If I ever

Knew alive

Without

Delusions

Illusions

Once clarity

Now questioning

Of all that

Ever sustained

Hope was

Hope

Even though

It will not

Find me

Now, for it

Demands that

I believe

In truth

That is

Not truth

But madness

Will

Find me

Whether

Hoping or not

Believing or not

Dead, Alive

Awake, Asleep

True or

Not true

Either Way

Madness

Is my

Only steady

Companion

Detail of an illustration of a solar barge on page 55 of Carl Jung's The Red Book. Translated, 
the complete text on the page reads: "One word that was never spoken.
 / One light that was never lit up. / An unparalleled confusion.
 / And a road without end." According to translator Sonu Shamdasani, 
the solar barge "was seen as the typical means of movement of the sun" 
in ancient Egypt. "The Sun God protected the barge against the monster Aphophis, 
who attempted to swallow the solar barge as it traveled across the heavens."

-- Foundation of the Works of C.G. Jung